Here in the Disney world, it is easy to get caught up in all things Disney. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like that’s a bad thing, but there are times it leaves little room to explore or even talk about any other enjoyment we might have that could come across as a ‘conflict of interest’. HUGE Anderson Cooper *eyeroll* coming your way. I personally have never understood the undying loyalty to one brand over the other. Marvel vs DC. Need I say more? And why would you miss out on Butter Beer, the Hogwarts Express, and the chance to marvel (pun intended) at Platform 9 ¾ simply because you have enjoyed the Disney parks first and nothing else can compare? And I would agree with that last part wholeheartedly. Nothing, in my mind, will ever compare to the magic of Disney and what it has brought to my life. But limiting what you experience, enjoy, and even watch on TV based on loyalty can be a little…restrictive.
Ok, rant over…
If this quarantine has taught me anything thus far, it’s that there is a time, place (either the bed or couch) and even mood for what I want to enjoy when it comes to media or even creating. There are times I want to watch Tangled, Frozen and Snow White on a continuous loop, but when I’m not ‘in the Disney mood’ or even if I just want a gentle reminder that things have and will continue to take place in the ‘real world’ there are some non-Disney shows I’ve been bingeing for, oddly enough, an escape from this very strange, not so normal new normal wherein we all now exist. One of those shows has been The Golden Girls. (Honestly, who doesn’t want to be the Golden Girls when they grow up?) While First We Haunted Mansion is first and foremost a Disney lover’s memoir, I thought it would be fun to throw a little pop culture in the mix once in a while.
So, without further ado, what the world needs right now, the Golden Girls and their Disney princess counterparts!
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the Golden Girl that I get every time I take the notorious ‘which Golden Girl are you’ quiz. Initially, I viewed this as an insult. Sure, Rose is sweet, kind and guileless – but she’s also from time to time a bit… dense. Don’t get me wrong, she has her moments of subtle ingeniousness. But those ramblings of St. Olaf and cousin Lickensnitzel or another are a little hard to swallow. Either way, her best pals have decided to find it endearing (when Dorothy isn’t rolling a newspaper up over Rose’s head) which sounds an awful lot like my personal all-time favorite Disney princess – Snow White! Both Snow and Rose are avid animal lovers, (remember the episode where Rose chicky-sits the musician chicken?), neither of their hair ever moves from it’s aquanet helmet, and they both have at least one roommate whom they drive bonkers until their naivety and pure souls penetrate through the rough exterior that is both Dorothy and Grumpy.
This one is tough, as any straight talkin’, intelligent, no-nonsense Disney princess could be the infamous Dorothy Zbornak portrayed by the immovable force that is Beatrice Arthur. If I had to choose the princess who resembles the most likeness to Dorothy, and for argument’s sake, I do, I would have to say she and Fa Mulan share the most in common. While Dorothy constantly deals with the likes of her cheating yutz of an ex-husband, Stan, (Hey babe, it’s me, Stan) Mulan is forever being told to know her place by the sexist townsfolk and even her own beloved father, whom she is only attempting to save. More profound than any other connection between these two powerful women is the relationship they both have with their sassy, wise and lovably crotchety matriarchs. Both Grandmother Fa and Sophia don’t mind giving their girls a nudge in the right direction, even if it comes off a bit… harsh.
‘But Big Daddy, I love him!’
Although Disney hasn’t quite created the Blanche Devereaux version of a princess, (this is a family brand, after all) I think it is fair to say that Ariel and Blanche have quite a bit in common. The first similarity that comes to mind is the Big Daddy Triton factor. When Ariel cries out to a livid King Triton ‘but daddy, I love him!’ in the harrowing scene right before he strikes down the statue of her beloved Prince Eric, I can’t help but hear a bit of our southern born and bred gal reasoning with her own father, Big Daddy, on multiple occasions. Even if these moments were simply reminiscing to the girls about the time she ran off and almost eloped her senior year of high school and fell upon the wrath of her own father. Not to mention if it were fashionable, we could totally see Miss Devereaux rocking a clamshell bra.
The Tiger Queen
Along the same lines as Blanche, there will probably never be a Disney appropriate way to approach a princess as gutsy and um, free-spirited as the matriarch Sophia. And while there may be more suitable Disney characters, in general, to match with Dorothy’s mom, we’re sticking with the princess theme here. Based on the aforementioned, I would have to compare the stunning, strong-willed Princess Jasmine to our beloved grande dame. Next time you watch Aladdin, count the princess Jasmine eye-rolls, smart-aleck remarks, and the exasperated tossing of the hands in the air in regards to her father’s lame attempts to wife her up. Now tune in to, I dare say any episode of the Golden Girls and you will notice the same expressions, albeit much different scenarios, from Miss Petrillo.
Both Disney and The Golden Girls have such a profound effect on pop culture, and it’s only fitting that we honor them in the most sacrosanct way we know how – reimagining these mature, ballsy gals as our beloved Disney princesses. Whether you are having a Disney kind of day or you need a little adult/PG-13 humor in your life, be sure to connect with whatever makes you smile during these times of uncertainty.